Foxhunt: Orlok Vision

Orlok knew something was wrong as soon as the old-timey music began to play. He sighed and lunged for his awesome battle snake. He wrapped it around one of the spikes just as it jutted up and the around his waist, creating a makeshift bungee cord.

The arena turned wildly on its axis. Romeo almost fell but righted himself at the last moment, fingernails digging into the floor.

“Hmm, the fabric of reality itself seems to be discombobulating. This is troublesome-WOAH!” Orlok grunted as a light flashed into his eye and he lost his footing, feeling down the now almost sideways arena.

“Woah! Holy shit no, I’m getting rock collapse flashbacks! NOT SAFE! NOT SAFE!!!” Orlok howled.

There was a horrible growling sound as some creepy spider looking thing approached him through a nest of spikes, deftly walking over it, not seeming to care for the dangerous situation.

A collar around its neck was labeled as being Timothy: Ripper Of Anuses And God King Of The Lesbians

“My King!” Orlok cried happily as the spider took a swipe at him. He ducked and then chuckled insanely, his eyes momentarily bugging out of their sockets and popping out of his head a little bit, making him look almost half as insane as he actually was by a factor of ninety-nine pizzas delivered by a gnome.

“Orlok, my son. How could you do this to me? Did you not promise to destroy all the Corps and bring about the age of The Imperium? You’ve made horrible progress. You haven’t conquered Terra with an army of super mutants yet, you’ve done nothing to curtail the chaos gods and the only person who worships you is you!! YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR CONTRACT!!!”

“NO!!! I haven’t!!! I HAZZZ A PLANSSS!!! I HAS PLAN!!!!” Orlok howled, feeling the snake begin to tear.

The spider monster cut at it and he felt the organic rope begin to give way.

“You never had a plan! You always just make shit up as you go! YOU SILLY POTATO!!!” Timothy howled and cut the rope.

Orlok fell just as the arena was starting to lay fully upside down. The inner workings below were fully visible. He could see an array of ouchy gears and mechanical generators and all sorts of techno whatevers.

His hand lashed out and he looked up to see where he was roughly hanging onto Romeo’s ankle.

“Wait, that’s it! In order to defeat the spider monsters, I must first copulate with the spider monster! Wait no, that’s for snake-wamens. Romeo, you’re supposed to be some OSEC elite whatever. How to defeat spider monster in ten easy steps, QUICKLY, OR THAT BITCH WILL EAT US AND SLURP OUR BRAINS OUT THROUGH OUR ANUSES!!!! LIKE SO!!!! SLURRRRPHPH”